Thursday, January 26, 2006

Bush: U. S. Government to Go Out of Business

President George W. Bush gives the finger to Wal-Mart. "Better prices and a better selection," said the President about the government's going out of business sale.

President Bush has announced that the federal government is going out of business.

"The U.S. government, America's place for law and order since 1776, has lost its lease, and everything must go, go, go," Bush said. "But our loss is your gain, and make no mistake: You, the people, would be crazy to miss out on these amazing closeout bargains."

The Washington-based government, which hasn't shown a profit in five years and carries the highest debt in its history, was ultimately driven out of business by costly overhead and cheap foreign competitors. As a result, Bush said, everything—from flag stands and Capitol cafeteria flatware to legislation dating from the early days of the republic—will be marked down 30 to 90 percent.

"Get yourself a piece of history, or just stock up on your favorite items—whatever it is, chances are we've got it," said Bush, wearing a 10-gallon hat and standing before a chroma-key background of the National Mall as a list of federal items and their discounted prices scrolled down the screen. "But act fast, because deals like these will not last."

According to surveys, the American people, by a 2 to 1 margin, report that they will not miss the government. The same survey reports that close to half of all Americans would like to see China as their next government. As one citizen put it, "Our old government was always getting into wars and taxes were too high. If the Chinese can produce a government as good as their electronics, then I think most Americans would welcome another Chinese import--government by China. Of course, that assumes the price is right."



At 8:51 PM, Blogger Dolores S. said...

Now that picture is grotesque and gives Bush a very BAD image!!
I had no idea about the government having a "going-out-of-business sale". What's up with that of "portions of the nuclear and conventional weapons stockpile [being] for sale to the public"(as I read in the linked article)!! It sounds like a joke. I had never heard of such act and I think it's absolutely ridiculous!

At 9:50 AM, Blogger Aunt B said...

The old saying goes, "you get what you pay for." With scandals, bribes and payoffs, I guess its true. I may not miss those currently representing us, but I would miss our government. I say change the people, not the system.

At 8:37 PM, Blogger Katie B. said...

Great picture and funny article. I don't think I would like to be under the Chinese government. I like the US one, but we definately need to do something about our debt. As individuals we couldn't survive with a proportional amount of debt compared to our income. So why as individuals it isn't okay, but as a national government it is? Screwy ain't it?

At 7:10 AM, Blogger phlezk said...

i fucking love that photo and the video that it came from!!!

and the video of him drunk at a party in Texas!!

ooh good times

At 8:38 PM, Blogger Katrina said...

I don't find the governmental system in the U.S. to be all that great. But I definately do not agree with the government of China. I believe that we just need to make some changes in the government system that exists in our country today.

At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

where have you gone?? we miss you at school..i hope everything is ok.


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